2009-12-14 Episode 7 - A Special Message

Welcome to another episode of This Week In Interesting. I'm your host, Ethan Andersen. I have an announcement to make, but it can wait since it is the subject of this episode.

It is with no small amount of regret that I must inform all of you that, except for a possible exception I'll explain in a minute, there won't be any more episodes of This Week In Interesting for a while. The earliest I could release my next episode would be towards the end of this coming May. This is because I have joined the Air Force. I will be leaving to start Basic Military Training soon, and as soon as I'm done with that, I immediately leave for technical school. Overall, my training will last about five months.

Just so you know, I am definitely not abandoning this podcast. However, as I've said, it will be some time before I can release a new episode. This is because I am not allowed any technology during Basic Military Training. After that, I'll be so busy studying during technical school that I won't have any time to produce an episode. Luckily for you, I already have an idea for my first episode after technical school. I'll get that out as soon as I can, but it will be a while before I can even begin to work on it.

In the meantime, feel free to send me any messages through my email address. You can ask me any questions you want to about my decision to join the Air Force, and I'll answer them. If I have enough time in the coming week or so, I'll try to put out an episode where I answer your questions on the air. If you want your question read on the air, just be sure to include what name you want me to use for you. If you don't want it read on the air, just tell me in the email and I'll respond to it privately. Also, in your questions, please keep your language work safe. That means no offensive or derogatory language or curse words. Just keep it clean, and I'll get to as many questions as I can. I'll hopefully see you next week.

I would like to thank Derek K. Miller for creating my intro music and giving it away for free to do with as I wished. I want to thank GarageBand.com for giving many independent artists the chance they deserve. I lastly thank Platypus Egg for creating great music and choosing to offer it through GarageBand.com.

If you want to contact me with questions, comments, concerns, or recommendations for future episodes, feel free to email me at thisweekininteresting@gmail.com or by leaving comments at my blog. Also you can leave me a voicemail at (434)-260-0579.

The closing song is Bambalo Vivente by Platypus Egg.

Note: If you leave me a voicemail, please send your question to my email as well. I'm using Google Voice, and as it's still in beta I want to make sure I get all of your questions.

2009-12-07 Episode 6 - Napoleon Bonaparte, Part 2

Here is Episode 6 - Napoleon Bonaparte Part 2

Welcome to another episode of This Week In Interesting. I'm your host, Ethan Andersen. I have two announcements for you today. First of all, the web address for my blog has changed again. I finally got a custom domain set up. The new address is www.thisweekininteresting.co.cc. If you have any links to the old web address, don't worry about them. All of them will automatically redirect to the new address. My second announcement is that I am currently working on setting up a new daily podcast. I don't want to give out too many details right now, but it should be up and running within a week or so.

This episode I'll be continuing our discussion of the life of Napoleon Bonaparte. Last episode, I began with Napoleon's birth, talked about his early career, and then left you with his ascent to the position of First Consul. Today, I'll pick up from there and move on to Napoleon's creation of the Empire, discuss the many wars he fought during his reign, and end with the death of Napoleon Bonaparte.

Napoleon discovered the existence of an assassination plot against himself in January 1804, and used it to justify the creation of a French hereditary monarchy headed by himself. Napoleon's reasoning was that the restoration of the Bourbon dynasty would be more difficult if the Bonaparte succession was part of the constitution. Thus, on December 2, 1804 at Notre Dame Cathedral, Napoleon crowned himself Emperor Napoleon I and crowned Joséphine Empress. Contrary to popular belief, Napoleon did not seize the crown from the Pope; the ceremony had been agreed upon beforehand. On May 26, 1805, Napoleon was also crowned King of Italy in Milan Cathedral.

By 1805, Austria, Russia and Britain formed the Third Coalition against France. Napoleon hoped to draw the British Navy away with a fake attack on the West Indies, with the aim of taking control of the English Channel long enough to invade Britain. However, Napoleon lost the Battle of Cape Finisterre in July 1805, and invasion of Britain remained unrealistic for Napoleon afterwards. He instead embarked on the Ulm Campaign by secretly marching his army into Germany. On October 20, 1805, Napoleon encircled the Austrian forces at Ulm and captured 30,000 prisoners. Meanwhile, the British gained control of the seas at the Battle of Trafalgar. Six weeks later, Napoleon ended the Third Coalition by defeating Austria and Russia at Austerlitz. Upon his return to Paris, Napoleon commissioned the Arc de Triomphe to celebrate his victory. He then went on to negotiate the Peace of Pressburg, which dissolved the Holy Roman Empire. Napoleon replaced it with the Confederation of the Rhine, and named himself its Protector.

The Fourth Coalition was formed in 1806. Napoleon defeated Prussia at the Battle of Jena-Auerstadt in October, then advanced against the Russians by going through Poland. This advance ended with a bloody stalemate at the Battle of Eylau on February 6, 1807. Napoleon won a decisive victory at Friedland and signed the Treaties of Tilsit. The first treaty was with Tsar Alexander I of Russia and divided Europe between France and Russia. The second treaty with the Prussians stripped Prussia of half its territory. Napoleon then put puppet rulers on the German thrones, including putting his brother Jêrome on the throne of the new nation of Westphalia. He also gave the French-controlled Polish territory to King Frederick Augustus I of Saxony as the new Duchy of Warsaw. Napoleon attempted to create a European boycott of Britain with the failed Continental System, but this only encouraged very successful British smuggling.

Under pretext of enforcing the Continental System in Portugal, Napoleon invaded both Spain and Portugal. He then replaced Spanish King Charles IV with his brother Joseph. In response, the Spanish army and civilians revolted in the Dos de Mayo Uprising. Napoleon took direct command and almost subdued the area, but had to return to France and deal with Austria before he could finish. The war continued in his absence, and the British and Portuguese allies won several victories. The war never ended until Napoleon's abdication in 1814. Napoleon felt this Peninsular War was the key to his eventual defeat.

Austria suddenly broke off its alliance with France in April 1809. Napoleon had early success but was defeated in May at the Battle of Aspern-Essling. However, Austria failed to press its advantage and Napoleon was able to regroup. He defeated the Austrians at Wagram, and created a new peace between France and Austria with the Treaty of Schönbrunn. Britain attempted to open a new European front while maintaining its attack in Portugal, but Napoleon was able to simultaneously hold them off and annex the Papal States. Pope Pius VII was abducted by Napoleon's officers after he excommunicated Napoleon. Napoleon married the Austrian Duchess of Parma Marie Louise after divorcing Joséphine in 1810. Pope Pius VII was imprisoned for five years and did not return to Rome until May 1814.

The Congress of Erfurt tried to preserve the Russian-French alliance, and Alexander and Napoleon had a friendly personal relationship. By 1811, however, the Russian nobility was putting pressure on Alexander to break off the alliance. Alexander angered Napoleon by relaxing the Continental System, and by 1812, Alexander's advisors convinced him of the possibility of invading France and reclaiming Poland. Napoleon received news of this and expanded his army to 450,000 men. He then ignored his advisors and commenced his invasion of Russia on July 23, 1812. The Russians refused to face Napoleon and kept running away, using scorched earth tactics to prevent Napoleon's forces from finding food. Napoleon did win a major battle at Moscow on September 7, 1812, but it was not the decisive battle Napoleon hoped for. Rather than let Napoleon have Moscow Alexander ordered it burned. Napoleon decided to cut his losses, and returned to France with fewer than 40,000 troops in November 1812.

A lull in the fighting at the beginning of 1813 allowed Napoleon to raise an army of 350,000. Meanwhile, Prussia, Austria, Sweden, Russia, Britain, Spain and Portugal formed the Sixth Coalition. Initially, Napoleon won a series battles that culminated in the Battle of Dresden in August. However, the numbers against Napoleon kept growing. His forces lost to an army twice its size at the Battle of Leipzig, which at 90,000 casualties from both sides was one of the bloodiest battles in history up to that time. Napoleon retreated into France with a drastically reduced army and facing three times as many Coalition troops. He won another series of battles in the Six Day Campaign, but this failed to turn the war around and Paris was captured by the Sixth Coalition in March 1814. Napoleon's generals mutinied after he proposed to march on Paris. Napoleon unconditionally abdicated on April 11, 1814. He was exiled to the small island of Elba and was made its ruler. Napoleon tried to commit suicide with a cyanide capsule, but survived to be exiled. While on Elba, Napoleon built a small army and navy and developed its agriculture and iron mining.

Napoleon escaped Elba on February 26 1815 and landed at France two days later. The 5th Regiment was sent to intercept him, but joined Napoleon after he announced himself as their Emperor. Napoleon proceeded marched on Paris as Louis XVIII fled. The Congress of Vienna declared Napoleon an outlaw on March 13 and pledged to field 150,000 men to oppose him. Napoleon arrived in Paris on March 20 and governed for what is now called the Hundred Days. He had 200,000 troops available by June, and decided to go on the offensive. Napoleon crossed into the United Kingdom of the Netherlands through what is now Belgium, and fought the allied forces at the Battle of Waterloo on June 18, 1815. The allies were led by Wellington and von Blücher. Wellington's forces stood against the French and drove them from the field, while von Blücher's forces broke through the French army's right flank. The French army retreated in disarray, and the Congress of Vienna restored Louis XVIII to the throne. Napoleon at first considered fleeing to the United States, but he instead chose to seek political asylum from British Captain Frederick Maitland on July 15, 1815.

Napoleon was exiled to the remote island of Saint Helena, and in his first two months, he became friendly with William Balcombe, owner of the Briars estate. Napoleon also became friends with Balcombe's daughter Lucia Elizabeth, who went on to write Recollections of the Emperor Napoleon. This friendship cut short when Balcombe was dismissed from the island due to suspicions he was acting as intermediary between Napoleon and France. Napoleon was moved to Longwood House in December 1815. Longwood House was extremely unhealthy and had fallen into severe disrepair, and The London Times implied that the British were trying to hasten Napoleon's death. This problem was exacerbated by Napoleon's custodian Hudson Lowe, who instituted many difficult measures. These included reducing Napoleon's expenditures and a rule that no gift could mention Napoleon's imperial title. Napoleon gained a lot of support in London, including a large amount of sympathy in Parliament, and there were many plans to rescue Napoleon. Lord Cochrane intended to help Napoleon set up a new empire in South America, and exiled members of Napoleon's army in Texas tried to resurrect his empire in America. There was even a plan to rescue Napoleon in a primitive submarine.

Napoleon's health began to deteriorate rapidly in February 1821, and by May 3 his attendant doctors could only recommend painkillers. Napoleon died May 5, after confession and receiving last rites. The most common explanation for his death is stomach cancer, and it is the currently accepted explanation. His last words were "France, army, head of the army, Joséphine." Although Napoleon wanted to be buried on the banks of the Seine, the British instead buried him in a tomb in the Valley of the Willows on Saint Helena. His tomb was nameless due to disagreements over what name to put on it. In 1840, King Louis-Philippe of France received permission to move Napoleon's remains to France. He received a state funeral on December 15, and his remains were placed in St. Jérôme's Chapel. In 1861, Napoleon was buried in the crypt under the Esplanade des Invalides, where he remains to this day.

There is a lot more information out there about Napoleon Bonaparte. If you would like to find out more on your own, I recommend visiting the following sites. For a great, but somewhat lengthy, overview of the life of Napoleon, be sure to look at the Wikipedia page "Napoleon I of France." For a more in-depth discussion of Napoleon's final battle, be sure to read the Wikipedia page "Battle of Waterloo." For an ongoing discussion of Napoleon, complete with interviews of famous Napoleonic scholars, you will certainly want to listen to the Napoleon 101 podcast, created by J. David Markham.

I would like to thank Derek K. Miller for creating my intro music and giving it away for free to do with as I wished. I want to thank GarageBand.com. I also thank wikipedia for providing many accurate articles on Napoleon Bonaparte for free. I thank Enter the Haggis for creating great music and choosing to offer it through GarageBand.com. I would lastly like to thank Oxford Press for publishing the Oxford Desk Encyclopedia of World History, a book that provided the inspiration for this episode.

If you want to contact me with questions, comments, concerns, or recommendations for future episodes, feel free to email me at thisweekininteresting@gmail.com or by leaving comments at my blog. I won't know what I'm doing right or wrong unless you tell me!

The closing song is Another Round by Enter the Haggis.

Also, be sure to check out the Audio Learning Revolution podcast.

For More Information

Napoleon I of France - Wikipedia
Battle of Waterloo - Wikipedia
Napoleon 101 - J. David Markham

2009-11-30 Episode 5 - Napoleon Bonaparte, Part 1

Here is Episode 5 - Napoleon Bonaparte Part 1

Welcome to another episode of This Week In Interesting. I'm your host, Ethan Andersen. As an experiment, I'm going to start including promo spots for other podcasts as part of my show. This helps other podcasters get listeners, and gives me a good way to break up the show into parts that are easier to understand. If you don't like my doing this, or even if you do, send me an email or post a comment on my blog. Be sure to give a reason why you like it or don't.

This episode I'll be talking to you about Napoleon Bonaparte. While working on this episode, I found too much information to fit into one episode, so I'm splitting my discussion of Napoleon's life into two episodes. For this first episode, I'll start with Napoleon's birth and continue through his early career, ending with his reforms made while First Consul.

Napoleon was born August 15, 1769, on the island of Corsica, one year after it was transferred to French control. He was the second child of eight of the minor noble family of Bonaparte. His father was a lawyer, and Corsica's representative at the court of Louis XVI. Napoleon's mother was an important influence in his life and restrained his more rambunctious tendencies. In January of 1779, Napoleon was sent to a religious school in mainland France to learn French, and by May of the same year he was enrolled at a military academy in Brienne-le-Château. At school, he was teased for his Corsican accent and heavily applied himself to his studies. Napoleon almost became a sailor for the British Navy, but instead he was accepted to the elite École Militaire in Paris. He trained to become an artillery officer and completed the two-year course in one year.

Upon graduation, Napoleon was commissioned as a second lieutenant of an artillery regiment. He served garrison duty in the cities of Valence, Drôme and Auxonne up to the beginning of the French Revolution in 1789. He took a two-year leave of absence and spent the time on Corsica. There, he sided with the Jacobin revolutionaries against the French royalists and Corsican nationalists. In return for his support of the revolutionaries, Napoleon was promoted to Lieutenant Colonel. Napoleon eventually exceeded his leave of absence and led a revolt against the French army on Corsica. Despite this, Napoleon still managed to persuade his superiors to promote him to Captain.

In July of 1793, Napoleon gained the support and admiration of the Robespierre brothers after publishing a pro-republican pamphlet. He was appointed artillery commander of the republican forces at the siege of Toulon, which had been captured by British troops. To defeat them, Napoleon planned to set up artillery on a key hill overlooking the harbor in order to force the British fleet to evacuate. The plan succeeded and Napoleon was promoted to Brigadier General. The Committee of Public Safety gave him command of the Army of Italy's artillery arm. At the same time, he became engaged to Désirée Clary, daughter of a wealthy merchant family from Marseille.

Following the Thermidorian Reaction against the Robespierre brothers, Napoleon was put under house arrest. Although it was only for ten days, he remained out of political favor. He was assigned to the War in the Vendée, a revolt by the royalists, as an infantry commander. This was essentially a demotion, and Napoleon avoided the posting by pleading bad health. Napoleon was then removed from the list of active generals. Despite this, Napoleon was called upon to defend the Directory when the royalists rebelled. He used artillery to beat back the royalists, killing 1400 and forcing the rest to flee. As a result, Napoleon was reconciled to the government, promoted to Commander of the Interior, and given command of the Army of Italy. Around this time, Napoleon married Joséphine de Beauharnais after breaking off his engagement to Désirée Clary.

Following his promotion, Napoleon led a successful invasion of Italy. He beat the Austrians at the Battle of Lodi and drove them out of Lombardy. He then went on to win the Battle of the Bridge of Arcole and subdue the Papal States. Although the Directory wanted Napoleon to dethrone the Pope, he instead took his army into Austria to force them to negotiate. This resulted in the Treaty of Leoben, which gave France most of northern Italy and the Low Countries, and included a secret clause that gave Austria the Republic of Venice. In the 1797 elections, the royalists gained more power, so Napoleon sent a general to purge the royalists and lead a coup d'état. The Republicans regained control, but became dependent on Napoleon. He then proceeded to negotiate the Treaty of Campo Formio with Austria. Napoleon returned to France a hero more popular than the Directors. He immediately began planning an invasion of Britain with Foreign Minister Talleyrand.

Deciding that a naval invasion of Britain was too risky, Napoleon chose to seize Egypt and cut Britain off from its Indian colonies. The aim was to establish a French presence in the Middle East and ally himself with the Muslim leader Tippoo Sultan. Despite the risk, the Directory agreed to the plan to get Napoleon out of France. In addition to his army, Napoleon brought 167 scientists, who discovered, among other things, the Rosetta Stone. In May 1798, Napoleon captured an important naval base in Malta after the Prussian-led French knights put up a token resistance. After evading the British fleet, Napoleon landed at Alexandria and began taking control of Egypt. All but two of his ships were destroyed by Horatio Nelson and the British fleet during the Battle of the Nile. Although he lost the sea battle, Napoleon retained control over Egypt despite repeated uprisings. He moved into the Ottoman province of Damascus and conquered the coastal towns of Arish, Gaza, Jaffa and Haifa. At this point, his army was weakened by disease and poor supplies, so Napoleon moved back into Egypt.

Through infrequent news delivery and dispatches, Napoleon learned of France's series of losses in the War of the Second Coalition. Taking advantage of a temporary British absence, Napoleon returned to France despite having had no explicit orders to do so. By the time he returned, France had won the war. However, the Republic was bankrupt and the Directory was unpopular. The Directory was so weak that although it discussed Napoleon's "desertion," it could do nothing about it. Napoleon was approached by Director Emmanuel Joseph Sieyès for his support in a coup to overthrow the government. They were joined by Napoleon's brother Lucien, speaker of the Council of Five Hundred Roger Ducos, Director Joseph Fouché and Foreign Minister Talleyrand. Napoleon was put in charge of the safety of the legislature after the conspirators spread a rumor of a Jacobin rebellion. The legislature eventually recognized the attempted coup, and Napoleon was forced to seize control and disperse the legislature. The remaining members named Napoleon, Sieyès and Ducos as temporary Consuls.

After the coup, Sieyès expected to dominate the new government, but Napoleon had already outmaneuvered him. After drafting the new constitution and securing his election as First Consul, Napoleon became the most powerful man in France. He then took his army back into Italy to drive out the Austrian resurgence. The campaign began badly due to several strategic errors on Napoleon's part, but he was saved by part of his force keeping the Austrians occupied at Genoa and the arrival of reinforcements. Napoleon finally beat the Austrians at the key Battle of Maregno. Lucien Bonaparte led the peace negotiations and reported to his brother that Austria was refusing to accept their terms. In response, Napoleon ordered one of his generals to attack Austria, securing a victory at Hohenlinden. Austria sign the Treaty of Lunéville in 1801, which increased France's gains from the Treaty of Campo Formio.

After dealing with Austria, Napoleon attempted to invade Britain. However, both nations were tired of fighting and signed the Treaty of Amiens in October 1801 and March 1802. This peace was short-lived due to both sides accusing the other of violating the terms of the treaty. Britain did not evacuate Malta as promised, and Napoleon annexed Piedmont and established a new Swiss Confederation. However, Napoleon's actions were well within the terms of the treaty. Britain declared war in May 1803 and Napoleon resumed preparations to invade. With the Law of the 20 of May 1802, Napoleon re-established slavery in the French colonies. He then attempted to put down the resulting Haitian Revolution, but  his forces were defeated by yellow fever and Toussaint Louverture. Facing war with Britain and bankruptcy, Napoleon realized that France's North American colonies were indefensible. He sold them to America in what became known as the Louisiana Purchase.

As First Consul, Napoleon instituted many reforms. He centralized the administration, reformed the tax code, and created the Banque de France, a national bank. He signed the Concordat of 1801 with the Pope to reconcile France with the Catholic Church. Napoleon also instituted a system for higher education and overhauled the road and sewer systems. He created the award of Légion d'Honneur to encourage civilian and military accomplishments. The award remains France's highest honor. Napoleon also oversaw the complete rewrite of France's legal code, creating the Napoleonic Code. This code was written with an eye towards clear and accessible language, and included a Code of Criminal Instruction that addressed the rules of due process. Napoleon eventually expanded his powers by adding a clause to the constitution making him First Consul for Life.

There is a lot more information out there about Napoleon Bonaparte. If you would like to find out more on your own, I recommend visiting the following sites. For a great, but somewhat lengthy, overview of the life of Napoleon, be sure to look at the Wikipedia page "Napoleon I of France." For a more in-depth discussion of the coup that set Napoleon on the Consulate, check out the Wikipedia article "18 Brumaire." A great website that has many different articles, although it has quite a few ads, is The Napoleon Guide at www.napoleonguide.com. Lastly, a good, well-researched website is the Biography page for Napoleon at PBS.com. You can find links to all of these sites on my blog. And don't forget to listen next week for the conclusion to my coverage of the life of Napoleon Bonaparte.

I would like to thank Derek K. Miller for creating my intro music and giving it away for free to do with as I wished. I want to thank Garageband.com for giving many independent artists the exposure they deserve. I also thank wikipedia for providing many accurate articles on Napoleon Bonaparte for free. I thank Mega Funk for creating great music and choosing to offer it through Garageband.com. I would lastly like to thank Oxford Press for publishing the Oxford Desk Encyclopedia of World History, a book that provided the inspiration for this episode.

If you want to contact me with questions, comments, concerns, or recommendations for future episodes, feel free to email me at thisweekininteresting@gmail.com or by leaving comments at my blog. I won't know what I'm doing right or wrong unless you tell me!

The closing song is Dancin' by Mega Funk.

And don't forget to check out the Skepticality Podcast.

For More Information
Napoleon I of France - Wikipedia
18 Brumaire - Wikipedia
The Napoleon Guide
Biography of Napoleon - PBS

Next week: We continue our discussion of the life of Napoleon.

2009-11-23 Episode 4 - Malapropisms and Spoonerisms

Here is my fourth episode, titled "Malapropisms and Spoonerisms"

Welcome to another episode of This Week In Interesting. I'm your host, Ethan Andersen. I still haven't gotten any feedback from you guys about my podcast, so once again I'm asking you to please post comments on my blog or give me an email. I can't get any better until you give me some feedback about what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong. Also, be sure to give me a review on my iTunes Music Store page.

This episode I'll be talking to you about Malapropisms and Spoonerisms. In both sections, I will first cover what exactly comprises a malapropism or spoonerism. Then, I will give examples that I find humorous for one reason or another.

Malapropisms are some of the easiest speech mistakes to make, and are also some of the most comical. A malapropism is the substitution of one similar-sounding word for another. The resulting phrase makes no sense, but still sounds comic. The word malapropism comes from the French phrase "mal àpropos," which literally means "ill-suited." The character Mrs. Malaprop from Richard Brinsley Sheridan's play The Rivals is so named because she often utters malapropisms. The alternative name for a malapropism is a Dogberryism, named for Shakespeare's character Constable Dogberry from Much Ado About Nothing, who also uses malapropisms often.

There are four requirements for a phrase to qualify as a malapropism. First, the word used must mean something different from the intended word. Second, the word used must sound similar to the intended word. Third, the word used must have an already-established meaning. In other words, you cannot make up a word and call it a malapropism. Fourth and finally, the resulting sentence must be nonsense.

And now, time for some of my favorite examples of malapropism. Two of my favorite examples come from Mrs. Malaprop. First, at one point she says, "...she's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile," meaning of course an alligator. One of her longest malapropisms is when, referring to her own speaking abilities, Mrs. Malaprop says, "Sure, if I reprehend any thing in this world it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs!", meaning to say apprehend, vernacular, arrangement, and epithets respectively.

The first of my favorite Shakespearean examples comes from Dogberry, who says, ""Our watch, sir, have indeed comprehended two auspicious persons," meaning apprehended and suspicious. The second example is uttered by Launcelot in the play The Merchant of Venice, saying, "Certainly [Shylock] is the very devil incarnal..." He means to say "the devil incarnate." Laurel and Hardy were well-known for uttering malapropisms. One of my favorites is from The Live Ghost when Laurel says "We heard the ocean is infatuated with sharks," when he means infested. My second favorite is when Laurel says in Any Old Port!, "We'd like a room with a southern explosion," when he means exposure.

One of the most well-known malapropisms comes from Who Framed Roger Roger Rabbit?. Roger Rabbit, when he really means "prostate," says, "My uncle had a problem with his probate and he had to take these big pills and drink lots of water." Many malapropisms come from TV shows. In Looney Tunes, Bugs Bunny once used the phrase "That thing will give you a conclusion of the brain," when he really means concussion. And the main characters on the cartoon Rugrats were famous for saying "As Bob as my witless" when they really mean "As God as my witness." On Friends, Joey created one of my favorite malapropisms when he said "No, a moo point. Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo." He meant, of course, moot.

Finally, some of my favorite malapropisms come from real life. In one report from the New Scientist, an office worker described a colleague as "a vast suppository of information" when he meant "repository." The worker then apologized for his "Miss-Marple-ism," when he meant "malapropism." New Scientist reported it as possibly the first time malapropism had been turned into a malapropism. Retired high school English teacher James J. Jackson of Mounds, Minnesota once came up with this lengthy malapropism: "A quarry has arosen from the rear of the audiotorium regargling the use of baking sodas as an anticdolt for strained teeth." The intended words are quorum, arisen, auditorium, regarding, antidote, and stained, respectively.

Now that we've covered malapropisms, it's time to discuss spoonerisms. A spoonerism is an error in speech or a play on words in which corresponding parts of words are switched around. They were named for the Reverend William Archibald Spooner of Oxford, who was supposedly famous for uttering them. While most of these examples of Spooner's spoonerisms are apocryphal, they are funny nevertheless. One of his most famous spoonerisms was "The weight of rages will press hard upon the employer." The intended sentence was "The rate of wages will press hard upon the employer." Another apocryphal example was when Spooner supposedly said "Three cheers for our queer old dean!" He actually meant to say "Three cheers for our dear old queen!", referring to Queen Victoria.

Another of my favorite spoonerisms is "It is kisstomary to cuss the bride," meaning, of course, "It is customary to kiss the bride." Spooner also reportedly said "The Lord is a shoving leopard" instead of "The Lord is a loving shepherd." He also referred to a "well-boiled icicle" instead of a "well-oiled bicycle." He once asked "Is the bean dizzy?" instead of "Is the dean busy?" One of the hardest spoonerisms to actually say is "Someone is occupewing my pie. Please sew me to another sheet." He was trying to say "Someone is occupying me pew. Please show me to another seat." Spooner's longest apocryphal spoonerism was said when addressing a student. He supposedly said "You have hissed all my mystery lectures. You have tasted a whole worm. Please leave Oxford on the next town drain" He meant to say "You have missed all my history lectures. You have wasted a whole term. Please leave Oxford on the next down train."

Spooner obviously hasn't been the only one to use spoonerisms. One of the cleverest intentional spoonerisms comes to us from Dean Martin, who said "I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy." British radio announcer McDonald Hobley once famously introduced the politician Sir Stafford Cripps as Sir 'Stifford Crapps.' A British television newsreader once referred to police at a crime scene having removed a 'hypodeemic nerdle.' One television announcer once announced the world's reaction to the marriage of the "Duck and Doochess of Windsor." During a live broadcast in 1931, Harry von Zell accidentally mispronounced US President Herbert Hoover's name, "Hoobert Heever." The music albums Punk in Drublic and Liberal Animation are both spoonerisms for Drunk in Public and Animal Liberation.

Political spoonerisms are also somewhat common. Capitol Steps, a famous political satire group, intentionally calls one of their segments "Lirty Dies and Scicious Vandals," meaning "Dirty Lies and Vicious Scandals." Illinois governor Adlai Stevenson once stated, "Speaking as a Christian, I find the Apostle Paul appealing and the apostle Peale appalling." He was referring to Norman Vincent Peale, who opposed Stevenson's candidacy. More recently, Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann once referred to the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act signed by Herbert Hoover as Hoot-Smalley tariffs which she claimed were the work of the Franklin Delano Roosevelt administration.

There is a lot more information out there about malapropisms and spoonerisms. If you would like to find out more on your own, I recommend visiting the following sites. The Wikipedia articles on Malapropism and Spoonerism are both great, and contain many more examples than I could fit into this one podcast. If you would like to create your own Spoonerisms, check out fabelbish.com. You just enter a phrase and it will automatically generate a spoonerism. To see a hilarious collection of malapropisms, be sure to watch "The Mispronunciation Sketch" by Ronnie Barker on YouTube. For other kinds of funny speech mistakes, look at the articles linked to in the "See also" section of the Malapropism article. You can find links to all of these resources on my blog.

I would like to thank Derek K. Miller for creating my intro music and giving it away for free to do with as I wished. I want to thank Garageband.com for giving many independent bands the exposure they deserve. I also thank wikipedia for providing accurate articles on Malapropisms and Spoonerisms for free. I thank the diablo brothers for creating great music and choosing to offer it through Garageband.com. I would lastly like to thank Arthur Goldwag for writing 'Isms and 'Ologies, a book that provided the seed for this entire episode.

If you want to contact me with questions, comments, concerns, or recommendations for future episodes, feel free to email me at thisweekininteresting@gmail.com or by leaving comments at my blog. I won't know what I'm doing right or wrong unless you tell me!

The closing song is the urban cowboy by the diablo brothers

For More Information
Malapropisms - Wikipedia
Spoonerisms - Wikipedia
Spoonerism Generator - fabelbish.com
"The Mispronunciation Sketch" - Youtube
Malapropisms - "See Also" - Wikipedia

Here's the hint for next week's episode: A historical figure is the target of many jokes in the movie "Young Frankenstein." This figure fought against the subject of my next episode.

Minor Technical Difficulties

I want to apologize for a mistake I made yesterday when uploading my podcast. I accidentally uploaded last week's episode, but I fixed it just this morning. So now, both the RSS feed and the iTunes Music Store link to the correct episode. Feel free to download the right one.

2009-11-16 Episode 3 - Baruch Spinoza

As I mentioned last week, I'm going to start including a transcription of my episodes in my blog posts. So, here is the complete transcript of the third episode, "The Philosophy of Spinoza."

I'm feeling rather excited because I got my first review on the iTunes Music Store last week. I would like to thank iTunes user "Tubby Wubby" for giving me a five star rating, whoever he or she may be. I would also like to encourage all of you to write reviews for my podcast. You can post them on the iTunes Music Store, Podcast Alley, or on my blog in the comments. I would especially appreciate comments on my blog, as so far there haven't been any at all. You can find links to my iTunes Music Store and Podcast Alley pages on my website.

This episode I'll be talking to you about the philosophy of Baruch Spinoza. I will start with his ethics, then cover his religious criticism and his modern influence both in and out of philosophy.

I'll start my discussion of Spinoza's ethics with an explanation of Spinoza's idea of God. To Spinoza, God is the infinite, uncaused, and singular substance of the universe. Everything that exists is "in" God, and Spinoza called these things within God "modes." The point of this doctrine is stop people from anthropomorphizing God, as Spinoza believed that any anthropomorphic conception of God was harmful to human freedom and activity. Spinoza also believes that God is the universal cause of everything and that it was impossible for God to not have created the universe. As for the modes themselves, infinite modes are the universal laws of such things as physics and logic, and follow directly from God. Finite modes are the individual things of the universe and are specific expressions of God's attributes.

Spinoza also identified Nature with God. The productive aspect of Nature was identified directly with God. This productive aspect produces a secondary aspect. This second aspect is identified with both infinite and finite modes. There is no such thing as fate for Spinoza, no master plan from God. Things happen the way they do simply because they must. Spinoza also denied the existence of miracles, attributing them to the ignorance of true causes. Spinoza believed that true love of God comes from reason and not from religious psychological attitudes.

Spinoza had many interesting theories about knowledge. Spinoza believed that every material thing has a corresponding and parallel idea. The sum of these ideas constitutes God's mind and the infinite intellect. To a mind like God's, the thing itself and the idea of that thing are merely different ways of looking at the same thing. Thus, the human mind and body are two different ways of looking at the person. According to Spinoza, the interaction between things mirrors the logical relations between God's ideas. The human mind is composed of imperfect ideas, which we process as sensory perceptions. The false ideas lead us to draw false conclusions about reality. Only reason can lead to true knowledge of the essence of things. This true knowledge not only reveals that an object exists, but also how and why it exists. Spinoza believed that man was capable of perfect knowledge of both nature and God, in theory.

Spinoza's ideas about God and reason flow directly into his ideas about passion and action. Spinoza believed that all human actions exist within the same causal nexus that originates in God's mind. He also believes that human actions are as predetermined as any other natural event. There is neither absolute nor free will, only an infinite chain of cause and effect. Our destructive emotions, which Spinoza called passions, follow from the same force of nature as other singular things.

Spinoza distinguished between types of causes and between activity and passivity. When a cause lies within our own nature, we are being active. When a cause lies outside of our own nature, we are being passive. In both cases, according to Spinoza, there is usually a change in our mental and physical capacities, or our "power of acting." This power, which is found in all beings, is also called conatus and is a kind of existential inertia. This conatus is the essence of any being. As for freedom, Spinoza believes that being free is to moderate the passions so that everything you do comes from your own nature. Moderating the passions comes from the application of reason, and being ruled by the passions is to constantly chase or avoid the fleeting objects of those passions.

Spinoza elaborates on his idea of the passions in his discussion of virtue and happiness. Spinoza believes that since we cannot control the objects of our passions, we should instead try to control our evaluations resulting from the passions. The key to restraining the passions is virtue. For Spinoza, virtue is seeking one's own advantage. Since humans are thinking beings, our greatest advantage is knowledge, and thus our greatest good and virtue is the pursuit of knowledge of God. This knowledge will let us see the predetermined necessity of everything. This viewpoint will help us regard everything equally and rationally, give us self-control and a calm mind. When we achieve this, our passions are replaced by an intellectual love of God and joy in that knowledge.

Spinoza is attacked more often for his religious criticism than for his ethics. Spinoza believed that all religious behavior stems from a desire to counter misfortune. In his own words, "Immense efforts have been made to invest religion, true or false, with such pomp and ceremony that it can sustain any shock and constantly evoke the deepest reverence in all its worshippers." In this endeavor the clergy is aided by the government, which labels all deviation from orthodoxy "sedition." This results in a state religion that is without rational foundations. The solution to this problem is to re-examine the Bible to determine the true doctrine and the proper way to show respect for God. This will prove that philosophy and faith are totally unrelated, and will result in emotional and intellectual freedom and a healthy church-state relationship.

Spinoza also sets out to show that the prophets were not especially intelligent, but were merely morally superior men with vivid imaginations capable of distilling God's message from words and symbolism. Spinoza denies the idea of a "chosen" people, calling it "childish" and saying that true piety is universally accessible. He makes an interesting distinction between divine and ceremonial laws. According to Spinoza, divine law only commands love of God and shows how to do so. Ceremonial law's only purpose is to control people's behavior and preserve society. Scripture is written to move people, especially the uneducated, to proper devotion. Spinoza sets forth that Scripture's sacredness is derived solely from its central command to "love thy neighbor," and that to treat it as anything other than a human document almost amounts to a sin. Because the sole message of Scripture is to "love thy neighbor," Spinoza believed that freedom of religion could be upheld without any harm to piety.

Spinoza has had a major modern influence. Beginning in the late 20th century, Europe began to examine Spinoza's work from a primarily leftist or Marxist perspective. Notable philosophers including Antonio Negri and Étienne Balibar have been influenced by Spinoza, and in his thesis paper Gilles Deleuze called him the "prince of philosophers." Nietzsche, too, held Spinoza in high regard. Ludwig Wittgenstein borrowed many of his ideas from Spinoza and even named one of his papers, the Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus, in honor of Spinoza's Tractatus Theologico-Politicus.

19th century novelist Mary Ann Evans, better known as George Eliot, produced the first known English translation of Spinoza's book Ethics. The great philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe was profoundly moved by Ethics, although he admitted that he could not understand much of Spinoza's work. Even Einstein was heavily influenced by Spinoza, and makes many references to Spinoza's God when discussing his personal beliefs. Isaac Bashevis Singer wrote a novel entitled The Spinoza of Market Street that makes many references to Spinoza's philosophy. More recently, Spinoza has influenced the Deep Ecology movement, which considers humanity a part of the ecosystem as integral as non-human life.

I would like to thank Derek K. Miller for creating my intro music and giving it away for free to do with as I wished. I want to thank Garageband.com for giving indie bands the opportunities they deserve. I also thank wikipedia for providing many accurate articles about Spinoza for free. I thank Jelly Bread for creating great music and choosing to offer it through Garageband.com. I would lastly like to thank Bertrand Russell for writing The History of Western Philosophy, a book that provided the inspiration for this episode.

If you want to contact me with questions, comments, concerns, or recommendations for future episodes, feel free to email me at thisweekininteresting@gmail.com or by leaving comments at my blog. I won't know what I'm doing right or wrong unless you tell me!

The closing song this episode is keep it to myself by Jelly Bread

For More Information
Baruch Spinoza - Wikipedia
Baruch Spinoza - Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy
Spinoza, Benedict De - The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy
Deep Ecology - Wikipedia

There is no hint this week because next week's episode will be more of a fun episode.

Edit: Accidentally linked to last week's episode. This has been fixed.

New Episode Coming Out Monday!

I've finished all of my research and found my closing song. Right now I'm scripting my show, and I'll be recording tomorrow. Has anyone figured out what this next episode will be about? Post in the comments if you have a guess!

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Starting with this coming episode, I'll be including a full transcription of my podcasts every episode. Now you'll be able to follow along with all of the information I give you.